hey y'all so i’ve had this blog for like 8-9 years now (!) and i’m probably gonna remake soon! i won’t delete this blog for my own archival purposes, but i probably will change the URL and make it password protective so it isn’t active anymore. not sure if i wanna give out my new URL (if i do end up remaking even), but if u’d want me to send it to u lms i guess :-)
Something that many people out here don’t seem to understand is that when you use language that insinuates:
-that bi women are “available” to men
-that bi women perform our sexuality for men
-that bi women are infiltrating LGBT spaces on behalf of men (ie. ‘bi women perpetuate the idea that lesbians can sleep with men’)
-that our sexuality and lives inherently centre men in any way
-that we do not face the brunt of homophobia and misogyny
You are directly perpetuating the idea that:
-men have ownership over our bodies and lives
-men will always be the only option for us
-bisexual women are just kinks and fetishes for men
-we are at fault for the existence of misogyny and homophobia
-we are at fault for the way that men abuse other women
-we are responsible for our own abuse, and that abuse is deserved
I have grown more aware, and more wary, of the absolutely ugly ways in which people describe us and it is not a coincidence that there is a pattern…even if it isn’t always a conscious one. It is, after all, the intent of homophobia and misogyny to be so normalized that you don’t notice it when it’s happening.
If you’re going to talk about bi women, be damn careful about the way you do so.
in skyrim i married a homeless man and even though we are married and he lives in my huge fuckin house he still wears rags and asks me to give him 1 gold whenever i see him
i don’t believe you can even begin talking about an “allosexual” or “sex-normative” or “amatonormative” or whatever culture without very seriously and comprehensively talking about heterosexism/homophobia (particularly compulsory heterosexuality) and misogyny. and how racism/being racialized affects people of color and their perceived sexuality/ status as sexualized objects as well as their ability to navigate their personal sexualities. and how transphobia/transmisogyny simultaneously renders primarily trans women (but also some other trans people) objects of disposability, scorn, and disgust and porn-ified sexual aggression. and how many disabled people are denied sexuality and sexual expression, and are particularly vulnerable to rape and sexual abuse.
asexuals may feel and be alienated but they are not alienated in some a priori way by virtue of simply “not experiencing sexual attraction”. the fact is that society and particular individuals under society care very much about how one has a sexuality, and whether otherwise marginalized individuals are sexual in these certain ways, rather than that atomized and generalizable individuals have “a sexuality”. especially not sexuality as construed as personally experiencing certain fuzzy feelings (”attraction”) when observing other people.
alienation from wider culture happens because of material reasons, and functions in certain ways to deliberately harm and drive marginalized people out. we need to describe these specific ways marginalized people are hurt and the ways that the powerful benefit from hurting them, rather than posit more and more micro- identities that don’t form coherent classes under which people are oppressed.
